New Year, New ME!

My friend Cynthia made a goal to walk/run 500 miles and killed it. I'm curious of what I can do. This year I want to see how many miles I can put in under my own will power. Bike/run/walk We'll see!
My spirit has always wanted to run. Since I've always had a stronger gravitational pull than others it made it hard to accomplish. Walking has always just bugged me. I think it stems from walking on the treadmill for hours in a corner of a room and getting no where. That's why I ride my bike. I love to bike even tho I'm sure it looks like my butt swallowed the seat. It didn't matter. I was able to move and I had some sense of accomplishment riding all over Davis and Weber County. I have been on most of the paved trails and it has been fun sharing them with friends. I haven't braved the dirt trail yet but would like to get there eventually. This is my friend Alicia. We have been on many bike rides together.

This particular ride we rode the Legacy Bike trail totaling 26 miles.
I can't wait to see what I can do this year. Here is to many miles with awesome friends.

How the heck do you do that?!

How the heck do get the post titles under your friends blog names in your blogger list? I can't figure it out. It would be nice to just look at my blogger list to see who has a new post instead of having to open each one to see. Can someone help me pwease?

My insane, twisted Saturday.

I woke up yesterday to a weird pain in my abdomen that was increasingly getting stronger by the minute. It got to the point I was in the shower in search of comfort or relief. To which I could not stand up right because I was in so much pain. I got out and went to sit down but it was worse to sit. I instantly thought back to my horrible ectopic experience. It was all the same symptoms. So I went into panic mode. Pleading with HF that I would not have to go through that again. I coded on the operating table then, it was likely I wouldn't survive another. I proceeded to plead with HF and ended up doing a couple other things to help relieve the pain. Meanwhile my sister called and I remembered I was supposed to watch her girls while her and Juan had a one last hoopla (date) before their baby is born. She told me that Juan ended up working so she asked me if I would help her finish her Christmas shopping instead and asked Doug to watch the girls. I told her I wasn't feeling well. When she got to my house I was half showered, panicking and crying. She quickly calmed me down and helped me realize that that might not be what was going on because with my surgery that I had 4 mos ago I had to do everything possible to not get pregnant even though it's likely I wouldn't anyway. I decided to wash my hair and get out of my pajamas. Some of the pain had subsided by then and I was so embarrassed. (Oh, the things you think up when you are in the middle of a panic attack.) We decided to go and walk it off. On the way to what I thought was Toys R Us, Lacey said that she needed to stop at the store to get something for Grandma. This was a normal thing. When we pulled up to Grandma's I noticed my aunt's car in the driveway. This too was normal. Then I saw my mom's car. Thinking, Kind of normal. We get inside and I see a cousin. I'm thinking people are visiting Grandma. Cool. Then I make a comment that it was rude of them to have a party with out us. When I walk into the kitchen and saw that there is a spread of food on the counter which is normal for Grandma to have even when just one person shows up at her house. Then I realize there are more people there than I originally thought and they were all looking at me. This is when my mind goes into S-L-O-W prepossessing mode and I replay all the events that had taken place up to that point. My little panic attack where I thought I was going to die. My sister's change of plans. Picking up something for Grandma. Everyone AT Grandma's and everyone looking at me. Which if you know me I don't like attention to be on me. With all this running through my mind at the same time they try to get me to possess one more thing by telling me that this was a party for me. A shower, adoption shower...... party. (They didn't know what to call it ether.) Now a MILLION thing are running through my head and at the top of my list is that my sister is a LIAR! Still in a little pain and trying not to be to uncomfortable with the attention I became overwhelmed with the fact that my family was so excited for me and wanted to support me and my new family. My family has always been there for me even when I never realized that I needed it. I just hope I have made them feel the same way. The party was a lot of fun and I enjoy seeing all my family.
Later that day when I thought everything had calmed down. I remembered that Dex had a free coupon for the Syracuse Fun Center. I thought it would be a good idea to take the boys while Doug did his homework. While we were there the boys decided that they wanted to jump on the trampolines. 25 minutes into their 1 hour jumping time Harrison dislocates his right knee. Dropping in pain, while still being bounced by the other kids, he screams in agony. It's sad to see your own child in that much pain but I child that you haven't learned how to comfort yet, a teenager at that, was a whole new ball park. Once again I felt so helpless. Trying to figure out what insurance he had and where I could take him. Not knowing anything useful about him when we got there. They ended up asking what my relationship was because I knew nothing medical about him. It didn't help that I ended up taking him to the ER at Davis. At one point a nurse walked in with an ice pack and said, "Here is an ice pack. I don't know how to use it but here you go." Dropped it in his lap and walked out the door. Seriously, no joke! After contorting for x-rays they put a brace on him to keep the leg strait. I asked the doctor to cut out the knee area because it was putting pressure on the knee and making it hurt worse. He said no. They instructed him to keep the brace on but also keep ice on his knee. How do you ice a knee with two layers of foam padding. So I just cut out the knee area myself. We had a long night but Harrison is doing better. Just trying to stay off of it. Thanks to my family for the party and all their support. Love you lots. I finally have a picture to post. Caution looking down. Here is a pic of Harrison and Dexton the first time he came to our house.

This is Dex helping Harrison out to the car after dislocating his knee.


This is Harrison's dislocated and now swollen knee.

Dealing with change

Well, everything is going good so far with Harrison. Dex is handling it well around Harrison but behind the scenes he has had some moments. His attention and time has been threatened and Dex is worried that his friends will like Harrison more. He has hesitated to introduce Harrison to his friends.
Friday night Dex was out late with his friends haunted house and corn maze hopping and was tired on Sat. I told him he could take a nap but his chores still had to be done before we opened our haunted house that night. Well, that nap turned into an issue. Harrison had done his chores and we had given him praise and he was off playing. Dex noticed he had not received any praise and he still had a chore to get done, he hadn't played all day and we opened in an hour. All of a sudden he was in his room and his music was blaring. When I asked him what was the matter he informs me that he is the bad kid, that we loved Harrison more and he felt like swearing. A little taken back, I quickly told him that I realized he was tired and because I loved and cared for him I let him take a nap. I reminded him that he was not a bad kid that he just needed to do something to receive a praise. As he gave me an ugly scuzz I lovingly put my hand on his shoulder and told him that he did an awesome job taking his nap. And as far as swearing goes he could try it by himself in his room to see if it made him feel any better but told him that it might just make him feel worse. This might not have been the best way to handle this but his chore got done. It may have been him wanting to be in the haunted house that got him to do his chore but I'd like to think it was because of what I said.

I registered Harrison for school yesterday and he starts today. I was a little embarrassed because I was only given a short history on him before we met him. When the Counselor asked Harrison if he had attended a school in our district I spoke up and said "No" as he answered "Yes, I think so" at the same time. So she looked him up on the computer. At one point he was living in my Stake and attending a school I had taught Art at. We looked and I was there 2 years prior. Come to find out he had been moved 13 times since he was taken into custody back in Dec of 2008. There is so much I still don't know. Before we left the school he had memorized all the numbers he needed to know. His locker # and com, student id for lunch and bus #. I just hope he does well with finding out his routine. Something tells me that's not going to be a problem but I worry anyway.

I thought getting two boys up for school was going to be interesting. It's like they had done it before. Dex got up and showered and Harrison ate breakfast then they swapped. They were dressed and ready for prayers with 20 minutes to spare. The only catch is now my home is filled with two different colognes. At least they smell good. I hope homework and chore time goes just as well. All things considered it has been interesting how easy this has been even with all the changed.

Terrified!!!

Ok Peeps I have something to share. So we have quietly started Foster classes a couple of times and it had sent me into panic attacks. I would get over whelmed with the information they would share or my horrible experiences with trying to get pregnant would surface. At the beginning of this year we went back and started the classes over again and we successfully completed them and our Home Study. As of April 4th we have been a licensed foster family. We got a couple of calls but I would panic and find some reason why I couldn't take them. I wanted legally free kids. I wanted a boy. He was to young. They couldn't be older than my son. I was looking for Caucasian or Hispanic. Well, we got a call on October 12th on a boy named Harrison who was legally free, 13 years old (a month and a half younger than Dex)and Caucasian. I had ran out of excuses. So we agreed to meet Harrison. Doug and Dex were so excited and had decided that he was going to live with us before we even met him. Me, not so much. Our meeting was scheduled for that Saturday over lunch. The case worker brought him by and we talked a little and showed him around our home. Dex took Harrison right in. He was showing him the next thing before finishing the first. Well....2hrs went to a day, to arranging to pick up clothes for an overnight-er. He even went to church with us the next day. On Monday I received a phone call asking how the visit went. There was nothing I could say but that it went well. We arranged for a 4 day weekend. Of course that went well also. Now as of this Friday the 28th Harrison will be living with us. November 1st I will be registering him for school. This is crazy. I'm kind of a control freak. And I have felt as though things have spun out of control and has become a little crazy but it's weird at the same time I also have a peace inside that everything is good and this is happening for a reason. When I have a chance to think I get scared and I don't go through with things. There have been times in my life when things have happened fast and I feel that Heavenly Father has a fast forward button on me. Like when I got married. Our first date was the first week in March, engaged April 1st and then married May 17th. I've thought about it and if I had a chance to sit and think I don't think I would have married Doug. We are so different. I'm so grateful that I did. I am a better person and I'm blessed because of him. I'm so glad that my Heavenly Father knows ME. He knows my struggles, my strengths and he puts things in my path that balances and makes me, ME. Even though I'm terrified about this new chapter in my life I'm also excited to see what Heavenly Father has in store for me and my family. This is not going to be easy.

Conference Wall

So this is what happens when I try to watch Conference without taking my Ritalin and a utility knife is near by.

For a long time now I have wanted to extend this wall because I didn't like the fact you could see into the rest of my home. I couldn't decide if I wanted to make the wall curve or leave it strait. I didn't know how far out to go or whether or not to put an arch over the opening and connect it to the brown wall. This is what I came up with.



I went half way and put a little kink at the end. I kind of wish I added the arch but for now I'm loving it the way it is. I luv the green side. It is a paint called Brushed Suede. Makes for an awesome accent wall. I put a cap with a shelf and crown molding to top of the wall. Now all I have to do is figure out how I'm going to decorate it. That's going to have to wait until Halloween is over.

Haunted Hideaway

Our Neighborhood Haunted House aka "Haunted Hideaway" will be open again for the 5th year. We will be open Saturday October 29 and Monday the 31st. There will be a fee of $1 per person. We have some scary stuff planned. Totally worth your $. We will have the old Cadi Hurst and coffin for you to see among other stuff. We will have our friendly signs for the little friends who want to go through. Come out and see us! 2108 N 2600 W in Clinton.