regina: My insane, twisted Saturday.

I woke up yesterday to a weird pain in my abdomen that was increasingly getting stronger by the minute. It got to the point I was in the shower in search of comfort or relief. To which I could not stand up right because I was in so much pain. I got out and went to sit down but it was worse to sit. I instantly thought back to my horrible ectopic experience. It was all the same symptoms. So I went into panic mode. Pleading with HF that I would not have to go through that again. I coded on the operating table then, it was likely I wouldn't survive another. I proceeded to plead with HF and ended up doing a couple other things to help relieve the pain. Meanwhile my sister called and I remembered I was supposed to watch her girls while her and Juan had a one last hoopla (date) before their baby is born. She told me that Juan ended up working so she asked me if I would help her finish her Christmas shopping instead and asked Doug to watch the girls. I told her I wasn't feeling well. When she got to my house I was half showered, panicking and crying. She quickly calmed me down and helped me realize that that might not be what was going on because with my surgery that I had 4 mos ago I had to do everything possible to not get pregnant even though it's likely I wouldn't anyway. I decided to wash my hair and get out of my pajamas. Some of the pain had subsided by then and I was so embarrassed. (Oh, the things you think up when you are in the middle of a panic attack.) We decided to go and walk it off. On the way to what I thought was Toys R Us, Lacey said that she needed to stop at the store to get something for Grandma. This was a normal thing. When we pulled up to Grandma's I noticed my aunt's car in the driveway. This too was normal. Then I saw my mom's car. Thinking, Kind of normal. We get inside and I see a cousin. I'm thinking people are visiting Grandma. Cool. Then I make a comment that it was rude of them to have a party with out us. When I walk into the kitchen and saw that there is a spread of food on the counter which is normal for Grandma to have even when just one person shows up at her house. Then I realize there are more people there than I originally thought and they were all looking at me. This is when my mind goes into S-L-O-W prepossessing mode and I replay all the events that had taken place up to that point. My little panic attack where I thought I was going to die. My sister's change of plans. Picking up something for Grandma. Everyone AT Grandma's and everyone looking at me. Which if you know me I don't like attention to be on me. With all this running through my mind at the same time they try to get me to possess one more thing by telling me that this was a party for me. A shower, adoption shower...... party. (They didn't know what to call it ether.) Now a MILLION thing are running through my head and at the top of my list is that my sister is a LIAR! Still in a little pain and trying not to be to uncomfortable with the attention I became overwhelmed with the fact that my family was so excited for me and wanted to support me and my new family. My family has always been there for me even when I never realized that I needed it. I just hope I have made them feel the same way. The party was a lot of fun and I enjoy seeing all my family.
Later that day when I thought everything had calmed down. I remembered that Dex had a free coupon for the Syracuse Fun Center. I thought it would be a good idea to take the boys while Doug did his homework. While we were there the boys decided that they wanted to jump on the trampolines. 25 minutes into their 1 hour jumping time Harrison dislocates his right knee. Dropping in pain, while still being bounced by the other kids, he screams in agony. It's sad to see your own child in that much pain but I child that you haven't learned how to comfort yet, a teenager at that, was a whole new ball park. Once again I felt so helpless. Trying to figure out what insurance he had and where I could take him. Not knowing anything useful about him when we got there. They ended up asking what my relationship was because I knew nothing medical about him. It didn't help that I ended up taking him to the ER at Davis. At one point a nurse walked in with an ice pack and said, "Here is an ice pack. I don't know how to use it but here you go." Dropped it in his lap and walked out the door. Seriously, no joke! After contorting for x-rays they put a brace on him to keep the leg strait. I asked the doctor to cut out the knee area because it was putting pressure on the knee and making it hurt worse. He said no. They instructed him to keep the brace on but also keep ice on his knee. How do you ice a knee with two layers of foam padding. So I just cut out the knee area myself. We had a long night but Harrison is doing better. Just trying to stay off of it. Thanks to my family for the party and all their support. Love you lots. I finally have a picture to post. Caution looking down.