Terrified!!!

Ok Peeps I have something to share. So we have quietly started Foster classes a couple of times and it had sent me into panic attacks. I would get over whelmed with the information they would share or my horrible experiences with trying to get pregnant would surface. At the beginning of this year we went back and started the classes over again and we successfully completed them and our Home Study. As of April 4th we have been a licensed foster family. We got a couple of calls but I would panic and find some reason why I couldn't take them. I wanted legally free kids. I wanted a boy. He was to young. They couldn't be older than my son. I was looking for Caucasian or Hispanic. Well, we got a call on October 12th on a boy named Harrison who was legally free, 13 years old (a month and a half younger than Dex)and Caucasian. I had ran out of excuses. So we agreed to meet Harrison. Doug and Dex were so excited and had decided that he was going to live with us before we even met him. Me, not so much. Our meeting was scheduled for that Saturday over lunch. The case worker brought him by and we talked a little and showed him around our home. Dex took Harrison right in. He was showing him the next thing before finishing the first. Well....2hrs went to a day, to arranging to pick up clothes for an overnight-er. He even went to church with us the next day. On Monday I received a phone call asking how the visit went. There was nothing I could say but that it went well. We arranged for a 4 day weekend. Of course that went well also. Now as of this Friday the 28th Harrison will be living with us. November 1st I will be registering him for school. This is crazy. I'm kind of a control freak. And I have felt as though things have spun out of control and has become a little crazy but it's weird at the same time I also have a peace inside that everything is good and this is happening for a reason. When I have a chance to think I get scared and I don't go through with things. There have been times in my life when things have happened fast and I feel that Heavenly Father has a fast forward button on me. Like when I got married. Our first date was the first week in March, engaged April 1st and then married May 17th. I've thought about it and if I had a chance to sit and think I don't think I would have married Doug. We are so different. I'm so grateful that I did. I am a better person and I'm blessed because of him. I'm so glad that my Heavenly Father knows ME. He knows my struggles, my strengths and he puts things in my path that balances and makes me, ME. Even though I'm terrified about this new chapter in my life I'm also excited to see what Heavenly Father has in store for me and my family. This is not going to be easy.